That Gal: So what time is the game?Anyway, my cousin Mike and I went to watch the game at the Beantown Pub where his brother Sean (yes, also my cousin - that was an easy one) tends bar. And wouldn't you know it, it was Wig Night!!! I'm not kidding. I'm also not kidding when I tell you that I, with absolutely no prior knowledge of this event, actually brought a blond mullet wig with me from Brooklyn because you never know when you might need one. 100% true. Did I mention I'm a party catalyst?
That Guy: It's at 9. And if we win, it will be our first championship since 1986!
That Gal: Okay, have fun. Go Pats!
Didn't need it, as it turned out, because Sean is the biggest black market silly wig supplier in New England. Who knew?
My first wig was a little too realistic as you can see.
In fact, the guy behind me came in as I was first trying to take the picture with no one else in the bathroom. I ruined the shot as I immediately put the iPhone down and tried to hide it as if my mom just busted me in the can with a Juggs magazine. (Sorry, no link - you're on your own.) When I realized I looked guilty, I tried to explain that I was merely trying to capture an image of myself with this crazy wig on. And you know what? I don't think he believed it was a wig since he just ignored me and nervously started to pee. He probably couldn't tell it wasn't really my hair because it's a really nice, $2,000 toupee that used to belong to the father of a friend of a friend of Sean's. Don't ask. And yeah, I took the picture anyway.
These next ones are decent look-alike attempts. Check it out. Here's what Sean normally looks like (he's always sitting on the floor and playing with tools when he's not behind the bar).
And with the wig he obviously looks like a younger, slightly thinner Jiminy Glick...
Mike (wearing my blond mullet) looks a bit like Billy Ray Cyrus after 16 beers and a bleach job...
And I look like Slash if he had a lot less money and style...
Why the men's room again? The lighting was much better.
P.S. Yes, I wore my fucking bad-luck Celtics tuxedo that I had formerly left on the floor of my closet. I totally screwed us!