Wait! I know what you're thinking. I've gone completely overboard and finally taken out my compounding frustrations on Jill.
No way, dude. I would never sock her in the eye. She's much too quick for me to ever land a punch. And then she'd kick my ass with her killer guns that put Denise Austin's to shame. No, I only strike out at inanimate objects (notice the dent on the freezer in the background? Whoops).
The reason for the patch? Well...[Inhale deeply and read aloud in one breath like Ace Ventura] Jill couldn't wear her contact lenses because she had a stye on her eye and she couldn't wear her glasses because they were "in the shop" getting what I call a re-lensing and she couldn't see the screen in front of her to write so she tried the ol' "throw in one contact lens and see how many minutes it takes for you to get violently ill" method which of course didn't go so well. [Inhale] So then she made me escort her royal blindness to a great pharmacy I know that has many useful items like the patch featured above and of course I paid for the patch because I am a gentleman and a lover of all things pirate and I almost forgot the reason for the patch in the first place was to try the ol' cyclopean contact lens method while blocking the other eye like a drunk driver seeing double* and then...[Inhale] she called her doctor who told her it would be fine for her to wear both her contacts even with the stye.
So after all that she submitted to this picture so I could at least get my two dollars' worth.
* I do not condone drunk driving under any circumstances! And click it or ticket! And give a hoot, don't pollute!