Saturday, June 28, 2008

Even That-er Than That Guy

I'm eating dinner and watching the Red Sox at the ESPN Zone in Chicago, and a 40-something year old White Sox fan and father just walked in and taunted two little kids wearing Cubs shirts as they sat innocently eating dinner with their family.

THAT-ER GUY: (menacingly to the children) Go White Sox!!! Yeah, that's right!

It's bad enough that a grown man felt the need to talk smack to children. But just to illustrate fully the superfluousness of his gesture, allow me to add some context.

The White Sox beat the Cubs in a heart breaker earlier today, 6-5, and yesterday they destroyed the Cubbies, 10-3, in the opener of their Windy City Series. Then throw in the fact that the White Sox recently won a World Series (2005) while it's been a hundred years since the Cubs last won it all (1908, in case you couldn't do the math), and you'd think a White Sox fan would just revel in his own fortune and not have to jeer at his rivals, right? Especially when his rivals ARE CHILDREN, FOR FUCK SAKE?!!!*

I couldn't help but give some mature advice to the dumbfounded kids as That-er Guy walked away with his unfortunate family.

THAT GUY: You could take him.

And...scene.

*I wanted to write, "Especially when his rivals ARE FUCKING CHILDREN?!!!" but it just looked wrong...especially in all caps...as it does here. Whoops.

3 comments:

Jill said...

And then they proceeded to give Youk a black eye?

Jacob Karnas said...

THAT. IS. AMAZING.

I've heard that Chicago pizza is better than Brooklyn pizza (I don't believe it, though.)

Can you give me some insight on the matter?

McShowoff said...

Had some very good pizza at Piece Out here in Chi-town. It was great, but I do prefer the flavor of Grimaldi's in Brooklyn Heights in the shadow of the Brooklyn Bridge.

And Jill, I think Youkilis gave himself the black eye. His intensity goes far beyond simple ulcers, popped optical blood vessels and hypertension. It literally beats the shit out of him.