Friday, May 16, 2008


I know I said I would try not to be that guy again, but I just couldn't help it. I just felt like my boys needed me tonight. Just this once. I could stop after tonight, right? After all, the Celtics haven't been able to win one game on the road in these playoffs. And I thought maybe if I really, really, REALLY showed I cared, we (meaning the fans, the players themselves, and ultimately all of Boston, Massachusetts and its natives spread throughout the world) would be rewarded with a win for my personal efforts.

And now I am on my hands and knees, slamming my fists on the floor, wondering what I've become. O, the shame and remorse!

All was for naught, as the Cleveland Cavs and Refs (their official new name whenever they play at home due to the egregiously biased calls throughout the game) unmanned our mighty Shamrocks.

You know what that's like? To willingly do something you say you won't do again because it suffocates just a little bit of your soul every time you do it whether it seems to work for you or not? And then it definitely does NOT work? It's like falling off the wagon after several weeks and drinking continuously till 4 am and realizing you're just not buzzing. Or, in the middle of that bender which isn't working, carrying on a torturous mutual flirtation with someone until you finally say, "Okay, dammit! I'll go for it and figure out what to do about my current relationship later," only to have your co-flirter shoot you down. Or finally, having a dream job which is about 99% certain to come through, and impetuously telling your boss at your present job to fuck himself after reaming you sans lube just one time too many, only to get a voicemail saying that the 1% was actually the right % and you and your other 99% can go find another job which reams harder and pays even less.

I couldn't shed the outfit fast enough once the game was over. I was literally standing upstairs in nothing but my underwear, kicking these vestments down the stairs and then throwing them onto the floor of my closet. And that is where they shall remain indefinitely.

Unless we make it to the Finals.


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