Thursday, May 29, 2008

Foreplay, Part II

So before I get busy, lemme talk a little bit about...gettin' busy. That's right. This time I didn't let the moment pass like before. No sir, I went right in for the kill.

When she said "It's really a shame we haven't been doing it at all lately," I said "Yup." When she said, "Remember last night when you said we're like best buddies, so maybe the idea of doing it with each other seems kinda messed up?* That really bummed me out," I said, "Me too, pal." And then I added, "We just need to get one out of the way to work our way back up to the good stuff." When she said, "Yes, we really have to do it, but now it's late and I haven't showered and I feel fat and ugly," I said, "We all feel fat and ugly till the lights are out and we pop it in there for a bit and feel it, and then we're hot as pornstars. Let's do this thing."

How could she resist?

And when it was all over (insert premature ejaculation joke here), she said, "You're gonna blog about this, aren't you? That's why you were giggling when we started." I assured her that was not my plan.

And now I feel a bit like Fletch listening to a love-making session on his pocket tape recorder:

Woman: [moaning] You're not recording this, are you?

Fletch: No, never. Never.


*She took this out of context. I don't remember the exact context, but it really did make sense at the time. To me.


Jill said...

Maybe we are better off as buddies after all. And... scene.

McShowoff said...

Ouch! And you stole my catch phrase!